A Stream Of Consciousness


This post is a stream of consciousness. I’d like to post something on this blog once a day on average but today, I have no profound bits of enlightenment. No satire. No sarcasm. Nothing worth reading at all.

I’m content. Not angry or irritated, nor desperate, not apathetic, nor enthused. I am simply content to occupy the space that I do, to interact with those that I can, and to simply exist.  Everything around me is more or less how I want it; There are no angry wildebeests in my kitchen, and I’m not hungry even if there were.  I have the internet, a phone, music, a television. I’ve got food, water, electricity… a shower.

So many are less fortunate. Less fortunate… The phrase belittles their plight.  So many have absolutely nothing. So many have less than one one thousandth what I have, and yet I still complain and rant about society’s problems, as if they are of any consequence. As if the free education system is in some way flawed, compared to some who learn to write with sticks. In the dirt.  As if we have problems…

In America we have everything we could possibly want. Or at least I do. I have no idea what anyone else has. It would be quite arrogant of me to say that anyone else has it better than me, or anyone else for that matter. I am not them- I cannot know.  But still. We survive…. No. We thrive.

Is that a positive or a negative, though? Is life a positive (objectively) or a negative? Is long life a gift or a curse?  And how can you measure the subjective objectively?

This digression is pointless. It will lead nowhere. Or it might, I’m no fortune teller. For the time being, it is only thought, only exploration into the nature of what is.  I am. That is the only constant.  I cannot comprehend the lack of my existence, but I fear it so- and so I will do everything in my power to preserve my existence. But really, are life’s positives and life’s negatives equal? Or does one outweigh the other? If so, which? It seems quite subjective, still, and probably differs from person to person.

I keep drifting back to death. Or the lack of life.  It doesn’t really matter which. Life and death coexist beautifully. In that beauty, is an unimaginable horror, however.  Duality. Again. Life is Death. Death is life. Without death, life is meaningless. Without life, death is meaningless.

Why must it be this way? The human life is objectively meaningless, but subjectively it can be the most valuable thing in the universe. Why?  Why is it that in order to make something beautiful, one must also make it ugly?

Life, death, life death.  Does it matter in the end? Death is inevitable. Presumably. So we’re all going to experience death. If there is indeed some magical land in the clouds, or an oven under the ground, we’ll see it. And, assuming that there aren’t an infinite number of destinations, we’ll end up with our fellow humans. Or at least some of them. So why do we fear death?

Or do we fear death?  Do we really know what death is? Yes, the heart stops. The blood becomes stagnant. The body decays. But what is it? What is missing? Is it the brain? if the brain functions, does the human exist? Or the sum of the individual parts? Does an amputee become something less (or more) than before?  Do we have souls? Are our souls OURS, or are they US? Are we our souls, and our bodies vessels? Or the other way around, like saying ‘our’ souls would imply?  OR maybe the soul is the body that we abuse.

Again, pointless ramblings, digressions into nothingness.Nothing itself.  But at the same time…. Everything.

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~ by ZAdoubleQ on May 21, 2011.

One Response to “A Stream Of Consciousness”

  1. Be a ★

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